What Would Happen If We Went "Off The Grid?"

A post on my personal facebook page prompted an interesting discussion. What would happen if the world went "off the grid." Would it be like the popular NBC show, "Revolution?" Where would the road take us if we lost electricity and technology? Americans would surely have to make adjustments, but would we be totally at a loss? Would people turn on one another? Would The United States become a nation of thieves and murderers? Would the government fall? Would we lose all laws and law enforcement?

First of all, I'd like to preface this by saying that many of those who most believe that this would be a catastrophic event that would cause lawlessness and the collapse of the government believe that people are generally evil and greedy with their own self-interest in mind. I don't subscribe to this perspective, and I believe that this would not be as bad as people would have us believe it would be. 

For one thing, the world has had government, laws, law enforcement, etc. long before electricity and current technology. World governments most likely have some protocol for it filed away somewhere. They have protocol for just about everything. I wouldn't be shocked to find that they have manuals on proper nose-picking and butt scratching. 

Things would definitely change, but there would still be stores from which to buy food. Even though things would slow down and revert to processes used before electricity, there would still be producers and consumers. There would still be newspapers. They would have to go back to the printing presses of old, but we would still have our news. Some people who hunt and fish now, would continue to do so. We would have to change how we contacted law enforcement, but they would still be there. Why would any of these things change? Confusion might reign for a while, until things were adjusted, but there's really no reason why things wouldn't continue as they were prior to technology. 

As for the nature of people, I hear people complain all the time about how rotten other people are. Frankly, if that were true, why do we have so many profitable charities? Why do we have so many people starting, running, and volunteering for charities? Why are there so many stories about people helping one another? It may not be all over the world. It may not be in every neighborhood,. It may not be in every family. It is there, though. Peel back the layers of cynicism from your eyes, and perhaps you can see that there's a balance of good and bad. Some days the balance tips, but for the most part, there seem to be equal parts inspiration and devastation. 

Here are some stories from around the web of people going above and beyond:

This one is about a kidnapped woman rescued by her family.

This story is about a teen that rescued a kidnapped girl.

Here, a neighbor rescued a 91 year old veteran from a fire.

A pizza delivery driver rescued a kidnap victim.

Philippine communities around the globe come together to help typhoon victims.

Even in senseless tragedy, heroes emerged from Newton, Sandy Hook, Aurora, Boston Marathon, etc. 

Even celebrities can be heroes.

And few can forget how we all came together after 9/11.

There may be horrible, senseless tragedy in the world, but there are lights in the darkness. In my eyes there's a balance. I believe in the heart of human nature, not the dark shadow. If ever there is a time when we go off the grid, I believe that we will not be lost in darkness.

Life with Invisible Illness

There are many invisible illnesses out there -- diabetes, MS, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, epilepsy, fibromyalgia, among others. One of the hardest things to deal with for me is the way the fact that there isn't something obvious that says that I have it. It's not that I want to announce to everyone that I see that I have a problem, but there are many reasons why it's difficult living with a problem that isn't obvious.

For starers, it took years for doctors to finally diagnose me with lupus. There are a host of symptoms, and it's hard to pin them down. Be that as it may, during the time that I was going into my doctors and telling them that something wasn't right, I started on a steady decline. By the time I finally found out what I had, I was much worse than when the problems first started. Rheumatological illness of any kind is just harder to diagnose because the symptoms can be from many other things. Also, not all rheumatological illness can be determined by a simple blood test. Some require more in-depth testing to determine whether you have them or not.

Another problem with invisible illness is the way that others view you. Sufferers might look to be as healthy as anyone else, but they aren't. When I park in a handicap spot, I often get dirty looks. Because I've gained weight with my illness, people assume I'm just lazy when I take the electric scooter at the store. They don't know that I have chronic pain in my joints, and that walking and standing, even for a short time, causes excruciating pain. Other rheumatological illnesses can cause the same symptoms, as can diabetic neuropathy. We may look just like everyone else, but we're not.

Often, I hear or read people ranting about how they see perfectly healthy people using the electric carts in stores, parking in handicap spots, getting line privileges at theme parks, etc. It is possible for healthy people to be lazy in a store, use someone else's handicap placard/license plate for good parking, or fake a problem at a theme park, but unless people are forced to go around with their medical papers everywhere they go, and surrender them to every person that questions them, assuming that someone is fine because they look fine is an incorrect assessment. 

Know that to get a handicap placard/license plate, one must have their doctor fill out a form that explains to the DMV why the placard/license plate is needed.They must also carry with them a form that must be shown to the police should the police question whether they are the proper owner of the placard/license plate and why they must have it. Theme parks require some kind of proof that a person is disabled before they accommodate them. They need either a letter from a doctor, or some other kind of official proof. As for other accommodations that people with invisible illness may use, such as the electric carts in grocery stores, there really isn't a way to tell who has what unless you know the person. 

Another problem with invisible illness is the way that other people treat them. People like myself have stories of doctors, family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, etc. treating them like they're hypochondriacs or liars. It can be frustrating. For years, my two oldest had to defend me to other family members who labeled me to others as lazy. I stopped working because the symptoms I experience made it impossible for me to hold a regular job. 

I worked hard for years. I even worked two or three jobs at a time. It was frustrating to give up having a paycheck. Frankly, I enjoyed having money to spend. I took my kids on mini vacations. I bought gifts for friends and family for birthdays and holidays that I would hunt for months to find, in order to find the most appropriate gift I could find. I would get facials, massages, manicures, pedicures, and we always had clothes that fit. We had a new car and never worried about the gas to get from point A to point B. Buying groceries and paying bills didn't phase me. For anyone who thinks I don't miss that, and believes that fighting to get social security for nearly six years now is somehow fun for me, you are sorely mistaken. 

There were those who spread rumors that I was a hypochondriac or that I was just making something up in order to get attention. I lost some acquaintances that way, but that wasn't a big loss. I lost more due to the crimp my illness has made in my ability to go out and socialize like I used to. I love people, and I loved going out and visiting or making new friends. I can't do that anymore. Pain and fatigue have made it impossible for me to live as I once did. I don't get out much, and no one comes to visit. Doctors treated me as though I was a hypochondriac, as well. I had to keep switching doctors and demanding answers before I finally received a diagnosis. If I had been taking care of properly in the beginning, I probably wouldn't be as bad off as I am, because there are medications out there to slow the progress of things like lupus. Now that I've joined groups with others who have the same or similar illness, I've discovered that I'm not alone in the struggle for answers. Some of them struggled for decades before receiving help.

Even with a diagnosis, people can be very unkind or even treacherous. My mother, who just wants me to be healthy again, gets "health" and :"wellness" magazines that tout cures for lupus and other diseases, and she's always trying to get me to take some pill or try some special "cure-all" diet. I'm so angry with the unregulated health and wellness industry that if there was a lawyer willing to do it, I'd take them all on with their snake-oil cures. And the healers and psychics with their phony promises. I believe that there are healers out there. I also believe in psychic ability. I don't believe that people sending letters to my mother, asking for money every week are either. That's another industry I'd love to take on! 

This post isn't just about me, though, it's about how people with invisible illness are mistreated by society as a whole. It's wrong to judge people by the way they look and make assumptions about them based on their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc., and most people in society have gotten that message. The problem is that those same people will look at someone and make assumptions about their health without thinking twice. Not only is it just as wrong, but those same people can be truly vicious to those that they make assumptions about. 

People rant all the time about others that they know nothing about, assuming that the person they are attacking is healthy and not thinking that perhaps that person is suffering with an invisible illness. They have no right to demand proof or question that person. It isn't their place to do so, nor is right for those of us to who suffer to be constantly under scrutiny. Most of us don't enjoy our suffering (There may be some who do.), and we shouldn't have to wear some sort of badge or carry a card or wear a shirt that announces our diagnosis to everyone who might want to know why we're disabled. It's no more acceptable than asking people who wear jewelry to keep their receipts with them and show them on demand to anyone who asks, or make car owners show their license and registration to everyone to prove they own their vehicles. Society needs to start treating those with invisible illness with the same kind of respect that they would give to someone with a wheelchair or a cane or some other visible ailment.

The Man of the House

In this day and age, when many in America are trying to break the restrictive bonds of gender identity and rethink the stereotypical roles of men and women, it's hard to imagine that people still believe in the idea of, "The Man of the House."

On a recent episode of "Hawaii Five-0," an ATF agent is killed, and at the end of the episode, we see a video message that he's left for his son, stating that with him gone, he's now "The Man of the House." It reminded me of when my older son told me that his father had told him that he had to take on this role. His father and I had been divorced for a few years, and our son was about four at the time. I nearly choked when my son told me this. I immediately quashed this idea, telling my son that he was to be a boy and enjoy his life. I was perfectly capable of caring for him, his older sister, and our home, and there was no reason he had to stop being my a little boy and enjoying his childhood to become a "man." This was over a decade ago, and even then, I couldn't understand why anyone would want to tell a boy that he had to take over his absent father's role in the family and take care of me, as if I were the child and not the mother. 

I don't believe that there was any resentment toward my ex-husband that charged my anger toward this backward thinking. I believe it was the idea behind it that bothered me the most. I couldn't then and still can't to this day understand why parents would want to rob their sons of their childhood and make them feel obligated to care for their mothers, rather than allow their mothers to do their job of taking care of them. The idea of gender roles is outdated at best, but the idea that a boy has to suddenly take on the role of the father is horrifying to me. 

Don't get me wrong. I love men. I absolutely adore them. I believe that men and women are different in many ways, and that we should try harder to understand those differences and celebrate them in one another. Men and women not only have differences in their bodies, they also have differences in the way they process and view input and in their life experience in general. I'm not against feminism. I believe in equal treatment, equal rights, equal pay, etc., I believe that women are as capable as men in most things, but I don't believe that men are useless or replaceable.I don't subscribe to the idea that all men are dogs. I'm okay with the man-haters of the world. I am not okay with boys being told that they need to give up being children and suddenly take on the role of caring for their mothers.

There was a time in history when women lacked voting rights, property rights, legal rights, and had limited ability to make it in the world without a man to care for them. That time has long since passed. Children are much better off being raised with two loving parents, and fathers should be there to take an active role in their children's lives. Women, however, do not need to be taken care of by their sons simply because their father is no longer in the home, no matter why he isn't there. It is not the responsibility of a child to care for a parent, until that child is an adult, and only if the parent is ill and/or incapable of caring for himself/herself. For as long as a child is a child it is the parents' responsibility to care for the child and allow them to enjoy their childhood. Childhood doesn't last very long, and it should be enjoyed to the fullest. 

Parents should always parent their children with an eye toward the adult that they are raising and teach them the morals and values that they would like their children to carry forward into adulthood. Part of the job of parents is teaching children what it means to be an adult and preparing them for that transition. That does not mean that children should be treated as adults or given adult responsibilities at the expense of their precious and fleeting youth. My children have always been and will always be my children. They may have chores and responsibilities, but caring for me and our home is my job, not theirs. The role of "Man of the House" will always be filled by a man, not a boy, and never by my sons. I am the parent. My sons are my sons. It is my job to make sure they are fed, clothed, sheltered, educated, have a place to sleep, learn their manners, learn about the world around them, are kept healthy, and most of all feel loved and wanted (Their sister is an adult with a child of her own now, but I still watch out for her and my granddaughter.). They will never be "The Man" of my house, and hopefully, other parents will stop putting this kind of responsibility on their sons and also stop lessening the power of the woman in the home by making her a damsel in distress when there isn't a man to take care of her and her home. It is a shame and an insult that needs to go the way of the dinosaur.